The effects of a crisis on families
A trauma or crisis can cause difficulties within families. Family members may not understand each other’s reactions, and it may not always be clear how feelings and physical reactions are connected with what has happened, especially if they occur some time after the event. Some of a family’s most common reactions to trauma and crisis are listed below. Effects can be immediate, medium term or long term.
Immediate effects
Some reactions may occur immediately after the crisis and continue for some weeks.
- Spouses/parents may be afraid for their partner’s/child’s safety away from home.
- Children and adults may have nightmares or fear that another crisis will occur.
- Family members may be angry about the fear and distress they have been put through. These feelings may be directed at another family member or at people outside the family.
- Family members may lose trust and confidence in themselves and other people.
- Children may express their insecurity by exhibiting difficult behaviour, bed wetting, changes in eating and sleeping habits, or by reverting to behaviour they have grown out of.
- Family members may experience emotional turmoil, anger, guilt, sadness, unpredictable behaviour or unreasonable reactions.
- Communication may be difficult because family members do not know what to say to each other or do not feel like talking.
Medium term effects
Changes which are not obviously related to the crisis may occur some weeks or months after the incident.
- Work efficiency and concentration may be reduced in the affected member or others in the family.
- Spouses/parents may be irritable or intolerant, which can lead to friction and misunderstanding between themselves and their children.
- Children or teenagers can begin to seek attention or act disobediently, which usually indicates they are anxious or fearful.
- Teenagers may become more rebellious or demanding.
- Family members may try too hard to help others and postpone their own needs to support the affected member.
- Family members’ feelings for each other may change as they become more detached or preoccupied with personal problems while trying to cope with their own reactions.
- Spouses may experience changes in their sexual relationship.
- There may be deterioration in school performance and levels of concentration.
- Family members may lose interest in leisure, recreation, sport or social activities.
- Teenagers may turn outside the family for emotional support.
- Immediate post crisis responses may persist or appear for the first time.
Long term effects
Sometimes problems become evident for the first time, months or years after the event, and often appear as everyday frustrations.
- Memories of the traumatic event may come back if family members are involved in a subsequent crisis.
- Family members often need to go over the events – perhaps for months or years – to better understand what has happened.
- People may find future crises harder to handle, particularly when similar feelings occur.
- Family members may hide painful feelings until things have returned to normal, and only then show their distress.
- Immediate or medium term effects may occur as delayed reactions or may become habits.
It is wise to assume that any major change or problem in a family or for individuals may be related to the crisis, even if it occurs a few years after an event.
Helpful things to do
These problems are all normal reactions to an event that has touched the lives of the whole family. Here are a few simple things that will help families recover from crisis.
- Keep communicating: Talk about what is happening, how family members feel and what they need from each other to avoid feeling alone, isolated and misunderstood.
- Share information: Children, teenagers and toddlers know something is going on and the reality is easier to deal with than the unknown.
- Do things together: Reserve time for recreation, enjoyment and rewarding experiences.
- Keep family roles clear: Don’t allow children to take too much responsibility for too long. Understand if a family member cannot fulfil their role and talk about how they will resume when they are ready.
- Be active: Tackle problems, seek help, seek information and don’t let issues develop.
- Look back: Consider how each member has changed since the crisis. Look for the ways the crisis has influenced everyone for better or worse.
- Express emotions: Support distressed family members and allow them time to find their way through their feelings.
- Seek external support: Keep in contact with support groups, other family, friends, neighbours and workmates. Make sure the family doesn’t become isolated.
Most families have the ability to become stronger following a crisis. But understanding its effects and actively dealing with them is necessary.
When to seek help
There are a number of signs that recovery may not be proceeding in a helpful way.
- Communication in the family is breaking down.
- Parents do not understand their children’s (or each other’s) behaviour.
- Things are not improving over time.
- There is evidence of deteriorating physical or emotional health in a family member.
- Family members do not enjoy being together.
If you are concerned about yourself, your spouse, children or parents do not hesitate to contact someone who can assess the situation and provide advice. Early help from a trained person can avoid long term difficulty.
Help and more information may be obtained from your general practitioner, community health centre or community mental health service. Please refer to the White Pages telephone directory.
Support is also available through:
- Lifeline 13 11 14
- Parentline 1300 301 300
- Kids Help Line 1800 551 800
Adapted with the permission of the Emergency Management Branch, Department of Human Services, Victorian Government.