Parents offered a lifeline
There's a theory that when things get tough, it's better to get active than angry. So when Elizabeth become frustrated with her son's behaviours and began hitting him, she knew it was time to take action.
Elizabeth is a young single mum living in the South Burnett region with an active and very boisterous two year-old son named Ricky. Elizabeth says she could not control Ricky's behaviour and was "very mean to him, yelling at him and hitting him". "I felt very alone because I could not take Ricky downtown as he would run riot," she says. "I also felt terrible because of the way I was treating Ricky at home, locking all the doors and putting everything away to contain his trail of destruction."
After an investigation by the Child Safety Services and recognising that things needed to change, Elizabeth accepted a referral to undertake a parenting course and counselling with Lifeline Community Care Queensland (LCCQ), which delivers the Referral for Active Intervention (RAI) service, funded by the Department of Communities.
LCCQ team leader Ros Heit says the RAI service aims to improve the safety and wellbeing of young children by working closely with families where there are some child safety concerns. It entails an individualised, goaldirected program that is jointly developed by LCCQ and the family.
"The service is fairly intensive and can involve family therapy, individual counselling or specialist support services for up to six months," she says. Ros says Elizabeth's program included Parent Child Interaction Therapy ( PCIT), a12 week parenting course that works on teaching parents to enjoy time with their child and the child cooperating to continue receiving the parent's attention.
"It's really about encouraging the bond between parent and child in a positive way
through special play time – where the child is rewarded for good behaviour (ie receives
attention from mum) and bad behaviour is ignored," Ros says.
"A lot of parents don't know how to play with their children. We teach them how to give
their children lots of positive attention as they play together and you soon see the children responding positively."
However, there are some basic rules to the program. "The child must stay sitting on the seat and must play nicely. If not, mum is coached to turn away and stop giving attention," Ros says. "This is just a brief introduction to the program, but we find it has delivered some great results to families with out-of-control children," she says.
After undertaking the program for six months, Elizabeth says she is so much happier and Ricky is calm and well behaved. "Everyone has noticed that Ricky's speech has also improved," she says. Elizabeth says through the program she was able to talk to someone who was nonjudgmental about Ricky's behaviour and her own problems, while the parenting program gave her skills to manage Ricky without having to yell and hit him.
Additionally, the counsellor gave Elizabeth "fantastic hints" on managing Ricky's behaviour and helping with parenting routines. The counsellor also helped Elizabeth to address the grief and loss she was experiencing as a result of detachment from her family and the abuse she suffered from her ex-partner.
This, in turn, has helped Elizabeth to build her self esteem. Elizabeth says the Referral for Active Intervention was the best thing for both herself and her son. "I feel like a much better parent now and Ricky is so much happier," she says.
The names and references contained within this story have been changed.