Impact of domestic and family violence on children
Children are affected by domestic and family violence even if they have not seen the abuse or violence. Children react in a variety of ways; they may show signs that they are affected by the domestic and family violence, or they may keep these signs and their feelings inside. It is important to listen to children and watch for warning signs of effects on a child's physical or emotional health.
Research shows that children who are involved in domestic and family violence are affected in many ways. They don't need to see it to be affected. Some of the ways children may react include:
- copying the abusive or violent behaviour
- sleeping difficulties, such as nightmares
- trying to intervene to stop the abuse. This is how some children become injured during domestic and family violence
- being stunned into a terrified silence by what they see
- blaming themselves
- being frustrated, angry and depressed
- bullying others or being bullied by others
- being cruel to animals
- regressive behaviours like bed wetting and thumb sucking
- being nervous and withdrawn
- changes in behaviour and/or academic performance at school
- displaying psychosomatic illnesses including unexplained headaches, asthma and stuttering
- running away from home
- attempting suicide or self harm
- abusing alcohol and substances (in older children).
Violent behaviour also gives children inappropriate messages about the way to treat people in their family, those they care for, or people with a disability, illness or impairment. Children may learn:
- the only way to cope with stress and pressure is through the use of abuse and violence
- using violence is an appropriate way to solve problems
- it is okay to use violence to get what you want.
How to help your children
Parents and guardians of a child growing up in an abusive household can help by:
- being aware that domestic and family violence harms children too
- educating children that there is never any excuse for abuse and violence
- providing reassurance that the abuse and violence is not the child's fault
- telling the child that he or she is loved
- organising support at school by talking to a teacher, principal or guidance officer
- encouraging the child to talk about how he or she is feeling and of any worries he or she may have
- seeking support form a counsellor
- ensuring the child knows how to call for help including phoning '000' and stating the address of the home
- taking action against the violence by seeking support from a domestic violence organisation and where appropriate, taking the child to a safe place
Confidential support and advice for women affected by domestic violence is available by phoning
dvconnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week).
Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill.